There are many ways to be special. We can be smarter than anyone else, or stronger or more beautiful. I saw a TV show the other night that featured a man named Bob who could eat a Philly cheese steak faster than anyone in history. You should have seen him shove that thing down! You could tell just by looking at Bob how proud he was of his achievement.

Being special seems like it should be great, but the truth is that it creates serious problems. Special is always in comparison with those around us. If we are smarter or stronger, there are others not so smart or not so strong. If we’re more beautiful, then there are many plain, even homely people who are less attractive. If we’re able to eat a Philly cheese steak in record time, there are countless others who are slower than we are.

Once we get to thinking that we’re more special than other people, it’s easy to imagine that they envy us – our beauty, our smarts, our strength – anything that sets us apart – and above – them. This creates alienation.

Being special also creates fear. Sooner or later, someone else will come along who is smarter, or stronger, or more beautiful. It’s inevitable. Someday someone is going to eat a cheese steak faster than Bob (though I can’t imagine anyone wanting to!). Then he won’t be so special any more. What then…?

Most important, the need to be special comes from and reinforces the deeply held belief that unless there’s something that sets us apart from – and above – others, we’re not good enough. If there’s only so much love or happiness to go around, then if we’re special, the hope is that we’ll get a bigger share of the good stuff. If not, well….

Here’s the wonderful news. There is infinite love to go around. Happiness is available to you at any moment. You don’t need to be special to get what you want and need.

The unconditional love of the Divine is all around you, and it is within you. You can experience the bliss that comes from receiving this love any time. All you need to do is open up to it.

Divine love is endless and boundless. There is more than enough to go around. It’s there for you no matter how dumb or foolish you may think you are. There’s plenty for you regardless of whether or not you think you’ve failed. Divine love does not care one bit about how ugly or flawed, or fat or thin you might be. It doesn’t even care how fast you can eat a Philly cheese steak!

Divine love is and it is there for you. You don’t need to be special to receive it. Let go of special. What a relief!!

Feel the love and the bliss that comes as you let go of needing to be special and open to receive Divine love.

What you can do

Develop a regular practice of connecting with the Divine – the Divine that is your own Divine nature and the Divine that is all around you. Let yourself experience the calm and the bliss of knowing you are loved just the way you are – no need to be special.

Set aside time to sit quietly. Breathe deeply. As you breathe in simply imagine yourself opening to Divine love. Welcome this love and allow it to fill your heart.

You may imagine it as the infinite love of God. You may feel it as oneness with all that is. However you think of it, let it fill you and notice how you feel.

As you breathe out, imagine yourself releasing any feelings of self-doubt, self-blame or self-hatred. Just let them go. Let the light of Divine love fill all those places where negative feelings have been hiding out. Notice how you feel.

Practice this first thing in the morning, or last thing at night before you go to sleep – or both. Practice during your commute to and from work – especially if you’re caught in a traffic jam. Notice how your feelings of love deepen as you make this a regular practice. I have. What a relief!

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“The more we open to the unconditional love that is always there waiting for us, the more joy and equilibrium we experience in our days here on Earth.”

We have all experienced pain in our lives. Life in a body on Earth among other human beings who are not always kind necessarily entails suffering. Our relationship with the pain life brings us determines whether our lives are filled with misery or with joy. I met a man last week who moved me deeply. He had the emaciated look of a person struggling with a life threatening illness. Indeed, I was told that he had spent six months in a cancer treatment center battling some form of blood cancer. That was two years ago. He looked horrible. And then I was introduced to him and spoke with him and was absolutely enchanted by his humor, his kindness and the exquisite light and love that shone from his eyes. There was not on shred of self-pity or despair in Paul. I felt blessed just being in his presence. Speaking with Paul, I recognized why it is that we walk this path of spiritual growth – to be able to face life’s suffering with beauty and grace. How magnificent is that!?! How empowered is that?!? Seeing someone like Paul deal with such a terrifying situation with such equanimity gives me the hope that maybe I can manage the challenges in my own life with greater ease than I’d imagined possible. This is really what the Path of Joy is all about – to be able to remain in a state of love and light, beauty and joy, regardless of the suffering that comes our way.

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“The more we open to the unconditional love that is always there waiting for us, the more joy and equilibrium we experience in our days here on Earth.”

Gifts of Intuition are messages from our Divine Nature.  These messages are most eloquently expressed through images.  As we interact with these images, we discover the wisdom our Higher Consciousness.

In Tales for Our Times I offer you narratives drawn from my imagery work and the work of my clients in the hope that you will find the universal wisdom in these Tales both inspiring and beneficial.

What Skeleton Taught Me about Death and Love, Heaven and Hell 

I have been struggling recently with my mother’s decline.  She’s been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.  It’s sad to watch her slipping away.  Seeing this woman who was once so vibrant disappear before my eyes reminds me of how fleeting life is, how little time we have on this Earth.

I checked in with my Inner Wisdom for perspective on these painful realities.  I share what I learned in the hope that you will find it helpful.

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The image of a Skeleton appears to me and says, “This is really about coming into right relationship with death.  Death can feel scary or dreadful, but if you allow yourself to release into it…”

Then Skeleton invites me to waltz.  With this talk about death, the idea of dancing with a skeleton freaks me out!

“Of course you feel that way,” Skeleton says, “but I am inviting you with love.  Death is love.”

I feel completely confused by this.  I’ve heard love compared to death, but can’t imagine how death could be like love.

Skeleton explains, “Life is a wonderful ride with a beginning, a middle, and an end.  On any ride, when you reach your destination, you encounter the adventures that await you. At death, when your life ends, unconditional love is waiting for you!”

I tell Skeleton that I certainly never thought of death in this way.

“Death is being called back to the great Oneness,” Skeleton replies. “You are joining with the Great Spirit. Unconditional love is the essence of the Great Spirit, or the Great Oneness, or God – whatever you choose to call it.  In death you dissolve into unconditional love.”

“Where your culture got it wrong,” Skeleton continues, “is the idea of death as a Judgment Day, when you receive reward or punishment for being good or bad.  Heaven and Hell actually unfold throughout your lifetime here on Earth.  When you treat yourself and others kindly, you create heaven.  When you act in ways that are angry, or cruel to yourself or others, you create the hell you must live in.”

“People have projected their earthly experiences on to the afterlife.  In fact, the judgment that takes place after death is really about taking stock of the experiences of this lifetime and seeing what there is to learn from them.  In the afterlife there is no reward or punishment, just what worked and what didn’t, like at harvest time when you assess what led to a healthy, abundant harvest and what did not.”

“You don’t have to wait for death to do this!” exclaims the Skeleton.  “You can bring this discernment into your life at any moment.  Isn’t it wonderful to not have to wait until after death to get it right!?!?!”

Skeleton takes me in his arms and we start dancing a polka, then a waltz and then a minuet. None of these feels comfortable, though, so we do a slow dance together.  Dancing in Skeleton’s arms, the feeling of love fills me.

Skeleton whispers in my ear, “You know, you are always loved, even when you don’t love yourself…”  As Skeleton says this, he dissolves into a beautiful white light in my arms and I feel the bliss of unconditional love.

What you can do

Remember that you don’t have to wait until after you die to learn how to get it right.  It’s so easy to blame our unhappiness on the people around us or on the circumstances in our lives.  In truth each one of us has much more control over our experience than we allow.

At any moment in your life, you can check in. If what you’re experiencing in the moment feels heavenly, you’re on track.  If you feel like hell, pause and ask yourself, “What could I be thinking differently or doing differently that would create a more heavenly experience?”

If you have trouble coming up with an answer to that question, take time to check in with your inner wisdom.  The fresh perspective you gain can open up new possibilities you never imagined to transform your life for the better.

Be aware of the choices you have. Go with the ones that create heaven right here on earth!

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The more we open to the unconditional love that is always there waiting for us, the more joy and equilibrium we experience in our days here on Earth.

Gifts of Inner Wisdom are messages from our Divine Nature. These messages are most eloquently expressed through images. As we interact with these images, we discover the wisdom, strength and unconditional love waiting for us within.

In Tales for Our Times I offer you narratives drawn from my imagery work and the work of my clients in the hope that you will find the universal wisdom in these Tales both inspiring and beneficial.

How Little Lenny Helped Len Transform his Anger

Len’s angry outbursts threatened to wreck his marriage. His wife, Justine, hated it when he yelled at her, but she became even more upset when he turned his verbal abuse on their two kids. After years of suffering Justine informed Len that if he didn’t do something about his anger, the marriage was over.

As distressing as his anger was to his wife and children, Len’s rage upset himself even more. Len didn’t want to hurt his family. He hated losing control and always felt humiliated afterwards for how he’d acted and the things he’d said. It also bothered him that the issues he cared about never got addressed, because blame was always directed to the problem of his anger.

Len’s father was a rageaholic, with violent unpredictable outbursts that the boy hated.  As a child Len had vowed that he’d never make his own children feel the resentment and hatred he felt toward his dad.  Every time Len found himself acting just like his father, the pain of self hatred became almost unbearable. Truly, much of the anger he was expressing toward his family was actually rage he felt at himself for falling yet again into these destructive patterns.

After struggling for years to control his temper, Len felt helpless to do anything about it. He desperately wanted to save his marriage, though, so we turned to his Inner Wisdom for help.

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The image of himself as a child appears.  Len recognizes little Lenny to be just as he remembers him:  calm and wise, able to understand the craziness going on around him and skillfully navigate through those treacherous waters.  Lenny seems happy, a state Len hasn’t known for much too long.

Len feels deeply touched by the innocence he senses in little Lenny, who has not yet adopted his father’s angry ways.  He tells Lenny that he misses him.  Len tells the boy, “I want to know how to get back to your wisdom.”

Lenny nods his approval.

Len then asks, “How can I reconnect with what you have?  What have I forgotten?  Why could I handle things successfully as a child, and now I have trouble doing that?”

The child responds, “Be naïve, like I am.”

Len recognizes how helpful this could be, but can’t imagine how to do it. He doubts that he can.  I suggest that Len merge with his younger self, so he can experience firsthand what it’s like to know that innocence.

(Merging is a process often used in Interactive Imagery to integrate on an energetic level helpful but unfamiliar ways of being.)

As Len merges with the little boy, he experiences how clean, how pure, how innocent this child is – like a better self.  When he views his wife, son and daughter from the child’s perspective, he feels calm, peaceful and nurturing toward them.  From this perspective, all of the things that enraged him just don’t seem to matter.  Len feels totally transformed.

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In the weeks following this experience, Len reconnected with the innocent perspective of little Lenny any time he felt himself becoming annoyed with his family.  He – and they- have been astonished by the transformation.  He almost never loses his temper any more.  Len and Justine have become more of a team in dealing with the challenges they face.

Len and Justine still have a lot of work to do on their marriage to create a relationship that both can feel comfortable with. Now, though, they can begin working on the problems facing them as a couple without Len’s anger getting in the way.

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What You Can Do

No matter how deeply ingrained your problems with anger may be (or the problems of someone you care about), deep within there is a calm, compassionate part of you that is capable of unconditional love – toward yourself and toward those around you.  This is your Divine Nature.  This is the part that you connect with when you work with Interactive Imagery.

You can connect with this part by allowing yourself to relax deeply and then inviting that calm and loving self to be present.  It may appear to you in the form of an image, or you may just sense a presence.  Once it’s present, you can ask it what it wants you to learn to help you with the problem of your anger.

Be very open to any awareness that comes to you.  If you have questions or concerns, feel free to share them, entering into dialog with your inner wisdom.

If you like, you can ask to merge with whatever appears, so that you can know what it knows, feel what it feels and see your situation from a fresh perspective.

You can ask how to apply what you’ve learned in your day to day life, to help you more successfully handle the situations that annoy you.

Be sure to express gratitude for whatever you’ve received when your interaction has come to an end.

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The more we open to the unconditional love that is always there waiting for us, the more joy and equilibrium we experience in our days here on Earth.

Unconditional Love is the central reality of Divine Nature. Our Divine Nature contains within it all the unconditional love we could ever need for us to create a life of joy. Our conditioning may make it difficult to access, but our ability to experience and to give unconditional love can always be found within, there in our Divine Nature.

In countless ways, both subtle and extreme, we are taught that love depends on our acting or thinking or feeling the way others expect us to. We learn this and then we behave accordingly, both toward those we love as well as to ourselves.

I love you as long as you make me happy. As soon as you disappoint me, the dark clouds of my anger and upset block out the healing golden rays of love.

We are only slightly kinder and more accepting towards others than we are to ourselves. It’s easy to slip into mercilessly beating ourselves up when we’ve made a mistake or failed to live up to our expectations.

There is no fault or blame here. It’s part of our human experience. But you can free yourself from the unhappiness and pain and isolation that conditional love creates.

You do this by consciously re-connecting with the unconditional love of your Divine Nature. Whenever you get angry or upset with yourself, with those around you or with a situation that you experience as negative, you can offer yourself the relief of unconditional love.

You can do this very simply by repeating the words “unconditional love” to yourself until you feel calm and centered once again. In this way you remind yourself of your connection with the Divine and allow yourself the benefit of peace and forgiveness.

Please note that this does not mean that you roll over and accept things that are not acceptable to you. You can still notice behavior of your own that doesn’t work for you and gently correct it. You can still bring whatever is bothering you to the attention of others. You just do it in a calm, matter of fact and respectful manner, much more likely to create positive results than an angry attack ever could.

You can still work to change a situation you’re unhappy with. You are much more likely to be effective when you approach it from a place of focused concern, rather than angry upset and outrage.

The more we open to the unconditional love that is always there waiting for us, the more joy and equilibrium we experience in our days here on Earth.

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For many years I took abundance for granted.  My psychology practice was based on the conviction that if you do excellent work, you will succeed. I worked hard at being the very best therapist possible. Success – and abundance – always came naturally.

When I branched out into coaching I spent a lot of money on trainings, paying experts to teach me how to build my coaching business.  The rules seemed to change.   The focus shifted from providing quality service to building a business – creating a big list, developing programs and information products to simultaneously serve as many people as possible, saving individualized attention for those willing to pay megabucks. The things they taught me never felt right.

Yet seeing the high six figure incomes these experts were touting introduced the feeling of scarcity.  Interestingly, as I began to feel like I wasn’t earning enough, my client load – and my income – began to shrink.

I checked in with my Divine Nature for guidance on once again creating abundance.  I am sharing what I received in the hope that you will find it helpful, as well.

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First of all, you must recognize that you do not create abundance.

Abundance is.  It is all around you.  You are swimming in abundance.  You breathe abundance.  You are surrounded with it.

The question is whether you let it in or not.  You know people who are so focused on the negativity between their ears that they cannot experience the abundance that is right there.  Do not be one of them!

The abundance is always there.  It is a constant.  The thing that changes from person to person and in one person over time is the willingness and ability to perceive and receive that abundance.

It’s like sunshine on a lovely day.  If you live in a house where the windows are shuttered and the doors are closed tight, your experience will be of total darkness and still, stale air.

If you open the windows and doors and let the beautiful sunshine in and invite the fresh breeze to blow through, you will delight in the light and spaciousness.

What closes the windows and doors are negative certainties – “I don’t deserve this.”  “Other people have those things but it could never happen to me.”  “I am not worthy enough or capable enough or smart enough or pretty enough or anything else enough.”  These are thoughts that you put in your own way.

Become extremely vigilant about negative or desperate thinking.  When you notice it popping up, gently, patiently and lovingly correct it.

Turn it around by deeply believing that you do deserve to enjoy abundance and the benefits it brings. Affirm the value of what you offer and who you are.  Believe in yourself. If that feels difficult, believe in your Self.

A gratitude practice helps enormously by shifting your focus to the many gifts you have. This makes you more expansive.

You are loved.  You are supported.  We are always here to help.

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What you can do

1.  Start – and maintain – a gratitude practice.

At least once a day sit down and name at least one thing that you are grateful for.  Just before you go to bed is a great time for this.  So is first thing in the morning.  So is any time during the day, as long as you do it.

If all you come up with is, “My pancreas did a great job of producing insulin today,” or “It wasn’t as hot today as it was yesterday,” that’s fine.  Get in the habit of focusing on the many things that are actually working in your life, rather than your disappointments.

2.  Become super vigilant about your negative self talk and correct it.

Any time you notice yourself comparing yourself to others, or telling yourself that you don’t deserve or aren’t good enough for anything you might want, gently, patiently and lovingly correct yourself.  Take a deep breath and challenge the truth of this negative self talk.  Don’t stand for it!  You don’t deserve to be treated that way, especially not by yourself!

3.  Affirm that you deserve abundance and well being

Focus on your strengths.  Honor the gifts you offer and recognize their value.  Share these gifts and trust that they will bring you all the abundance you so richly deserve.

P.S. Loving thanks to my subscribers. If you enjoyed this post and are not yet subscribed, enter your email address below and click ‘Subscribe’. You will receive each new post in your email box. To share on Facebook and Twitter, simply click below. Thanks!